Radical Romance

The novel “The Rules of Attraction” by Bret Easton Ellis is a time traveling book that could be related to young people of today. Even though the main actions and setting is during the 1980s we could see the trends of an Era transcend in popular culture of today. The show “Gossip Girl” directly correlates with “Rules of Attraction,” both have similar characters and life stories and show radical romance of their unique time periods. In the past twenty years not much has changed in the relations between men and women. In “Gossip Girl” eighties promiscuity is portrayed as a typical behavior of high school students on the Upper-East Side of Manhattan. Consumerism, a defining element of the 80s reached its pinnacle in the American culture and since then it has developed a new communication among the sexes. Mendacity is also a pertaining element of both eras and the examples we see in a novel from the 80s and a show from the millennium is evidence of resemblance between the generations.
Many would question promiscuity and why did it occur in the 80s, how was society allowing such freedoms after centuries of conservatism and criticism of “Free Love” in the 70s? In “The Rules of Attraction” Ellis uses promiscuity as a way to show Nihilistic views of rich art college students who live without a care in the world. “Gossip Girl” is set in a private school on the Upper-East Side of Manhattan where students embrace sexuality in a radical way. Going through the timeline of sexual relations a lot has changed in the way women approach sex. Lauren, one of the main characters in the book might be seen as the “ultimate slut” but also representing the strong, independent and open with her sexuality woman. Her promiscuity was influenced by the sub-culture that a school like Camden enforces, and such elite culture is presented in “Gossip Girl”. The character who is parallel to Lauren from the show is Serena; also a dominant figure who uses drugs, has multiple partners, and comes from a wealthy family. Sex was offered to them and it was used as a way to escape reality, but became their reality at the same time. We can draw the conclusion that promiscuity has a direct relationship with stimulated finances. Such traits could be seen from early civilized societies, for example in the 16th-17th century English Upper-class was well known for open sexuality. During the reign of Queen Elizabeth “Women were, more powerful than they had ever been before. Adultery, incest and same sex coupling are all recorded in one form or another from legal court hearings or by pamphleteers of the day. It seems there was plenty of premarital sex.”1 All of these women are seen as radical of their time and so they show the struggle battling through social norms. The evolution theory argues that the human body is made to be promiscuous. “The basic idea is that women have sex with multiple men until they find one with the best genes. And men have sex with various women until one chooses him to father her child”.2 Evolution argues that sexuality is the returning state of our human nature and if it’s complimented with financial stability women are more likely to exercise premarital sex and enjoy multiple partners.
Gossip Girl ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1WixNJTTjg
“Gossip Girl” is a show that defines a part of our culture and what some of the social norms of our generation are thought to be by the majority. A repeated theme throughout the show is consumerism. To be considered in the “cool” crowd you need to be rich and you are known by whose daughter/son you are and what inheritance you will receive on your 18th Birthday. Consumerism is everything from the clothes they wear and the cars they drive, from their strip clubs to their summer homes in the Hamptons. In the novel, “Rules of Attraction” consumerism is presented in a different light. The students are also rich and can afford any luxuries but they chose to spend it on drugs, alcohol and music. Those are the three main virtues that define the time. Both examples, students relate to each other as commodities, whether, that be as drug dealers, sluts, or “the Queen Bee”. They promote spending, because without products the reality they so desperately want to bury themselves in would not exist. In the show and the novel the students are consumed with each other and think only of themselves. The 80s was the rise of consumerism and 2008 was the fall. In “Gossip Girl” consumerism is still at its highest peak and this shows that the American culture is not ready to give up the right to spend. Spending money is our way of communicating and is a form of radical romance as well since women have the same financial background as men. Financial equality advances women’s rights in society but it is not seen as conventionally ‘romantic’. “The selection, purchase and use of goods and services are all forms of everyday action which, on the contrary, we commonly tend to view as rather dull and prosaic matters. It would appear, therefore, that consumption, being a form of economic conduct, should be placed at the opposite pole of life from all that we generally regard as ‘romantic’.”3 This raises an interesting question, if we put consumerism and romance on the same scale, romance is the one that appears more important so our lives but in reality they go hand in hand. Romance is used in society to promote consumerism, since advertisements embrace the fact that the male has to have certain materialistic items (cars, phones, and house) in order to acquire women’s interest. In the novel, Sean uses his friend for money to try and get out a financial spat with Rupert. In “Gossip Girl” the money becomes a problem in a relationship, and so this shows us that consumerism and relationships have a direct link.
“The Rules of Attraction” is full of personas that use mendacity as a way of life. None of them reveal their true characters and we only see the portion that fits their reality. They hide behind drugs, sex and music. We can see Sean and Paul have different entries for the same day and it is obvious that one of them is lying but we never find out whom. This book shows what living in lies causes, and the author puts the meaningless of truth on a pedestal but at the same time giving us the hollowness of the soul achieved by lack of true love. The novel begins in the middle and ends nowhere showing us the mendacity will never stop for these kids. “Gossip Girl” also includes mendacity and is shown not only from the students but from the adults as well. The father of one of the main characters, Nate, was caught in fraud and even though he was guilty he chose to run away and betray his family. Mendacity is passed on with the generations, and that is the same with “The Rules of Attraction”, the parents seem they just want to keep safe distance from their children by sending them to college. Lies are known to be destructive to the ‘self’ but in the novel and the show mendacity never gets its fair share. These students never face the consequences of their actions. Mendacity is also seen through the polygamy of the relationships between the characters. Both examples have love triangles, and women are becoming on the same sexual level as men which could be considered radical. Women have more than one partner now, which was considered a men’s privilege but now women are radically re-writing the laws of relationships. “The aggressive, virile man, who craved plurality of wives, or sexual consorts, was also undoubtedly a lover of the power yielded by possessions. Many men are covetous and greedy by nature.” 4 In this context, women are no longer the “domestic animals” they are the hunters and becoming greedier as the gender gaps minimizes.
“The Rules of Attraction” and “Gossip Girl” have similarities and go over some of the basic human behavioral examples of this generational era. Traits such as promiscuity, consumerism and mendacity are deeply rooted in our culture and have it as a goal desensitize us to their negative effects. Radical romance could be found in all of these traits which point to closing the gap between the sexes. Only history can show if our behavior is considered radical or is it pulling us back.






Works Cited
1. Smith, Lesley. “Sexual allure and the Tudors“. Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive Health Care, Volume 32, 2 April 2006 , pp. 129-130(2)
Published by Faculty of Sexual and Reproductive Healthcare (11 Oct. 2009)

2. "Why Evolutionary Theory is Wrong about Sex." Worldview Times - Home. Web. 11 Oct. 2009. .
3. Campbell, Colin. The romantic ethic and the spirit of modern consumerism (1987) Blackwell Publisher (9 Oct. 2009)
4. Gallichan, Matthew. "Women under polygamy -." Google Books. Web. 11 Oct. 2009. .

Starbucks—A women’s form of domination

As I was sitting at Starbucks around 9 a.m. on a week day, sipping on Espresso shots the first thing I noticed was the intensity of the work all the baristas had to do especially during rush hour. I definitely have new appreciation for them since I watched them re-do orders left and right for some picky customers. As I shifted my focus onto my intended target; the “caffeine-addicts” I realized that Starbucks and every other coffee shop in the country is deeply rooted in our culture and defines, especially my generation. Starbucks is not only a place to take your coffee to go but also a social gathering for many; and mostly for women.

People were coming in and out of Starbucks and lines were going on forever. Men and women were rushing for work or any other time consuming activities. The scene slowed down as the day progressed and you could see the trends that occur in a coffee shop. Through careful observation I was able to spot out many interesting facts that I would not have thought about otherwise. For example, men observed the menu thoroughly before ordering a beverage but ignored their surroundings, and then ordered the simplest coffee drink whereas a woman would order soy instead of whole milk and it would usually be without whip cream. Also, when women see a friend at a coffee shop they are loud, smile and squeak while talking. Everything seems artificial and fake. They put on a smile that goes away as soon as her friends are behind her. She also looks over her shoulder, smiles if eye contact is made, turns around and writes something down. This particular woman was very sad the whole time she was sitting there, she was mostly staring off in the blank space but as soon as she saw her friends come over all of that disappeared and a wide smile took over.

Women sometimes exchange eye glances and smiles with the opposite sex which indicates initiative and awareness of their sexuality. It is a known fact that women of the past waited until they were approached by a male in order to have a conversation, and in my opinion that is a very radical step to sex equality. Women are breaking the social order and showing radical romance every day. People in groups usually sit outside, talk louder, smoke or talk on the phone.

The people who chose to stay in Starbucks and enjoy their coffee and pastry were mostly women. There were women working on their laptops, women reading novels or textbooks, women smoking, women catching up with friends, and some women simply staring into the blank space, drinking coffee and eating a small pastry. The coffee shop is a hang out spot for women. We catch up on gossip, share knowledge, and discuss relationships. It is in a way our sanctuary. Coffee shops represent a sacred place for women; if there were more men the innocence would not be preserved.

According to my observation women drink more coffee than men. Could that be true? Women need more caffeine then men? Men might come with a friend and purchase a coffee but it is in most cases to go. Men do not take the time to sit down and experience the goodness of coffee. This shows how different men and women are. It was evident that women were dominant in the coffee shop but why were men leaving and not staying inside for long periods of time? Maybe they felt out of place and threatened by all of the estrogen in the room but there was definitely a pattern that could not dismissed. This goes back to the question are men socially created or are they naturally exempt from eating/drinking in the establishment. Society believes that the man has to acquire all the masculinity and in a coffee shop the woman has overtaken that role and they feel emasculated. Culture stimulates women socializing in a coffee shop. The coffee shop is set up in order to help women relax and put them in a state where they feel confident. The setting is very well organized, the music is usually feminine and it has bright colors. But some examples point to nature as cause of that phenomenon. Men have a completely different mentality over where they should drink their coffee. Is it the conformity of the establishment, men do not like rules and the coffee shop could be seen as somewhat restrictive? Men rather be outside sitting under a tree or surrounded by a large group of friends while drinking coffee or eating lunch. You can even say that coffee is not the relaxing activity as women see it; it’s something that gets men through the day.

Observing such a common place for our society I was surprised by my discovery. I suppose we as a nation are more divided by gender that we realize and sometimes we do not even think about the consequences of such separations.